List: People That Suck and People That Actually Suck

ALOHA SUCKERS,

Some people suck, some people actually, totally suck. Here's a list. If you can think of any gems, send them our way @DK_daily. Caution: Don't get too worked up.

See below for further information regarding the title of this post:

People that suck:

1. Satan: you know why.
2. Hitler: you also know why. 
3. Rappers (white?) and rapers: honestly, they're all the same to me. Abuse through words, abuse through penetration (not a good enough reason to use the word penetrate...)
4. Your psycho ex.
5. Your boyfriend's psycho ex.
6. The bitch you're thinking of in your head right now. You're right. She's ugly.
7. Cuba Gooding Jr.: See Snow Dogs.

What Happens in Vegas- always a classic. I particularly like those subtitles from some language that I'm not smart enough to know. 

People that actually suck:

1. Sorority girls: Talk about identity crisis, you all look the fuckin' same. Not to mention, no one ever pulled back the black curtain that is the cost of being in a Sorority. Not just for your Daddy's wallet, but for your reputation. Is sorority "rush" when all sisters jam all social networks as fast as humanly possible with Instagrams of them in the same fluffy, color coordinated dresses and kitten heels? Because by all means, make it slow down. It's all shits and giggles until we realize that sororities are breeding colonies for blonde clones made of silicone and herpes that we can't program to ACTUALLY like each other. Lastly, due to an insane amount of "secrecy," we feel Sororities are the real founders of the Illuminati. Forget the Freemasons. It's more like free beer, and free sex, free friends, and free...wait shit, that sounds awesome. fuck.

(Shout out to the ironic Indians that own sweat shops in Narnia and make all their branded Greek-letter gear. Bitches put down bank to buy the yoga pants with their rhinestoned Greek-letter pun of choice. I.e. Delta GLAMma, Definitely DG, Life's a PHIesta)

1. People that think their mediocre jobs are the coolest things ever: You are insignificant. Please stop posting things about you and your "career." Making "sales" on the "floor" at Best Buy does not, in any way, make you a business man...or worthy of my Facebook like. (See awkward poetry in the video to the right).
2. People who make snarky comments about how drunk you were the night before: Although we may not be aware of how drunk we were, we don't want to be reminded. 

How they think this conversation is going to play out:

Dude: "Oh hey! How was your spring break? I heard you got pretty sloshed with the dudes last night, eh?!"

DK: "Yeah! It was a really good time. I was so hammered. Total shit show! Thanks for addressing my sexcapades in front of every person we know!"

How the conversation actually plays out:

Dude: "Oh hey! How was your spring break? I heard you got pretty sloshed with the dudes last night, eh?!"

DK: "........Fuck yourself, dingus."

3. Personal Facebook status people: While we can not point fingers at venting annoyances with everything and anything online, we try not to show actual feelings or express actual kindness. Ever. If you personally struggle with being-too-personal-on-social-media syndrome, please, start your own blog, and hide the link forever.

4. People that yell "slow down!" in residential areas or at cross walks: Honestly, fuck those people. I'm not going to hit your dog or your kid. Silly bitches, roads are for cars. (see Will Ferrell).

5. That "Spanish" friend, who is totally white, and grew up in Orange County, that suddenly gets an accent when ordering Mexican food: Alright, Gringa. We've all been to Santa Ana, no need to contribute to the conversation with the "correct"pronunciation a.k.a SåñtAñå (san-tah-an-yah). Like homie, please do not order a Qüéså∂îllå (kay-sah-DEE-jyah) at the Del Taco window. You don't see me ordering hot dogs and apple pies like I'm a Confederate fucking soldier. Confusing for the rest of us who grew up believing in Santa Claus (San-Ta-Cl-Aws).

6. Nicholas Cage. with Keanu Reeves at a close second, but The Knowing gave good ol' Nich a second wind. 

-DaKlap

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