What is friken up!
Britney Spears rocks. She's completely mental, and has the worst extensions ever, but she is the ultimate ice queen and bad girl of our pubescent hormonal childhoods.
The tabloids love to shit all over people's faces and show everyone what super sucks about celebs these days without any context or background. In our own Perez Hilton play off way we're piggy backing off the news and officially starting a series about focusing on some people who made super awesome career/personal decisions in their hay-day. Of course, this is Discount Knowledge and each series will also shit on their faces when deserved. First stop: Britney Spears.
Direct Quote: "I go out with friends, but I don't have time to get in trouble."
-Britney Spears
1. The Mickey Mouse Club Days
(I've always wanted to watch these for real. It's like an awesome child sized Ryan Gosling, JC Chasez (why is that your last name), Justin Timberlake, Christina Aguilera, Britney Spears, and that Dale guy sandwich!)
2. "I'm Not A Girl, Not Yet a Woman."
(Song name = Gold. It's almost like a great coming-out-of-the-closet song. But, the reason why I'm posting about this is because NO ONE SHOULD BE ALLOWED TO HAVE THIS NICE OF A BODY. She's wearing flare jeans and she still looks like a DIME PIECE. You will be seeing B.Spearz on our list of Hottest Bodies: Female Edition. Lastly. The question remains. How are the cliffs relevant?)
3. "Criminal."
(Such an underrated video. The song is good but the video rocks. I just want to cut her teeth off and wear them myself.)
4. "Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know."
(Literally. You. Are. So. Hot)
5. Making Out With Madonna.
(Madonna...is a bitch. But! This kiss got WAY too much publicity. She was just fuckin around in her slutty eighties wedding dress and it was over in 2 seconds. Also, I'm almost positive she did the same with Xtina. Weird.)
6. "If U Seek Amy."
(I have to respect the wordplay and boobs used here.)
7. Dating Justin Timberlake
(lol to the girl who cried asking "do you have straight or curly hair?" but besides that this interview is the most adorable thing ever and it's dangerous how upsetting it is to listen to.)
8. Crossroads
(Every hot female celebrity needs that one pointless ass movie. Christina Aguilera- Burlesque, Jessica Simpson - Dukes of Hazzard, J.lo - Maid In Manhattan/The Wedding Planner (?), Dont get me wrong, those are my favorite movies, but nevertheless, pointless. Crossroads is the same. I vaguely remember somebody getting pregnant in it, so like that's funny and weird. Its great and it'll remind you of when it was okay to have your granny panties hanging out the front of your denim mini skirt.)
9. Britney Spears and Ellen Degeneres Caroling
(Ellen never ceases to amaze but Britney's HORRIFIC and musically a full-retard. That being said, the spirit of Christmas is alive every second Brit wears that glorious bonnet. Also. I could totally be her friend.)
10. Darrin's Dance Grooves feat. Britney Spears
(Darrin goes so fucking fast I dont know how I ever kept up with that shit. Regardless, every girl had this tape and learned this dance from this speedy ass nigga. I think they even gave it away with Kids Meals at McDonalds at one point. RAD.)
WALL OF SHAME MOMENT
"Someday (I Will Understand)"
(The song she sang for her baby. While she was pregnant. So fucking weird. The line "I'll finally see... see it all in my baby." Like what the fuck is this? Some kind of Twilight Jacob Black wolverine imprinting shit? Regardless, catchy, and still hot)
She's a lucky, she's a star,
-DK
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