Since school is in sesh and I'm permanently doing homework, I haven't been able to brown my body in a long while. So I thought I would pay a lil' visit to the tanning bed for a quick fake and bake. When I got there the lady told me that they had just put new bulbs in and that it is Xtremly hawt. And I was like "Psh... this ain't my first rodeo... I can handle a few new lights."
So I'm laying there ass naked, ya know all lubed up in bronzing cream and shit when I realize that it is unbelievably hot in this coffin. I look at the time and see that I still have ten minutes left. I told myself I could do it and just to stick it out.
As time slowly ticked by I started to notice that I was pretty much swimming in a pool of my own sweat and that I a lot a bit felt like I was about to faint.
Well I was a champ and stuck it out the whole time... not the smartest decision considering what happened next.
When I stood up I instantly fell to the ground with a little case of the spins. I was sweating profusely... like pools of sweat were gathering on the tile floor underneath my naked ass. I grabbed the trash can and started to yack my brains out. After five minutes of that fun I thought I was feeling a little bit better so I tried to stand up...
I once again fell straight to the ground and started ralphing some more Okay... so I've been in here for about 45 minutes and I realize that I need to get out and try to drive home. I slowly get up and put my clothes on... I look in the mirror and I'm literally a vampire... like more pale than I was when I had come into the shop.
I try to make a straight away to the door but the front desk lady asked me how it went. And I got nervous and said "It went well except it kind of smells like vomit back there. You might want to check it out."
How retarded... like they were going to find out it was me in that room number and I'm literally so pale. It was tragic.
If you can't tone it, tan it... because then you'll throw up and get skinnier. Lesson of the day.
-DK
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