List: CraigsLIST

Looking for quick cash? Well we made finding a job even easier for you. Hit the personals slutty sluts! (just kidding, dont). The world wide web can be very dangerous and unsafe and we don't want any of you people to get tricked by an ad for a job saying "nEeD hOuSeKeEpEr 4 da dayy" when really it should read "Come to my house so I can bone your face off and then stick your lifeless corpse in my neighbors trashcans" (yes, plural. as in you will be in multiple trashcans as in after I rape you I'll chop your body into pieces).  So we put together the top ten ads to look out for so you know what to look out for.... to look out for.....look for them... these ones....or dont.

1. 5 Pyrex Glass Dildos Adult Sex Top - 50$. Dont get that shit stuck in your coochie. Its all fun and games until someone snaps a Pyrex Glass Dildo in their ass.
2. Honestly, I clicked on the link thinking it was some kind of play off the New Boyz catchy "You're a Jerk" song but now Im just hurt.
3. Some serious backwoods redneckery. This guys a catch. HA. PUN. fishing sucks.
4. This guy is a buzzkill. The Salad Bar of dating, if you will. The whole buffet. Everyones all stoked finding homies to give blowies and this guy shits on everyones dreams. like who do you think you are!?
5. What the fuck is this? Let me put my poems in you.
6. DUDE. This is not twilight, you fuckin vampire crazy ass. Theres nothing hot about being on the rag.
7. what?
8. I wish I knew Craigslist-ese. What the hell is a fwb? bbw? m4t? man for turtle? Anyway... this guy likes fat girls.  And hes 420 friendly (munchies = fat).
9. BEWARE: THIS IS A TRAP. He wants you to take him to the Holy Land. He will enter your synagogue with his yamaca.
10. This guy literally googled "french chivalry" and took the best three. Bonjour assssshole. my little croissant.


gotta love the interweb,
DKraigs-list