Live and Learn- The curse of June 24th

While reflecting on those glorious house sitting times last summer I realized that it was a year ago from this week. Those two weeks were filled with a lot of shots, a lot of throw up, a lot of nudity and a lot of mistakes. But I wouldn't change one second of it.... except for a particular two minutes (yes, two minutes.)

On the first night of rage caging hard I decided to get so completely shit faced and knock boots with this dude named Billy* who meant nothing to me and felt the same way about me. True love. To say that this was one of the lowest points in my short twenty years of living would be one hell of an understatement. Luckily BCM (previous story) was stealing all the attention with her titties and sloppy make out seshs, so nobody even noticed me entering the house of doom for a night that I wish I couldn't remember. So the only people that know are me, him, and now anybody who reads this. Congrats grad.

BUT the past is the past right? I'm super into cheesy life mottos like "grab life by the balls" (pun very much intended) and "do unto others as they would do unto you" (pun still intended). So I woke up the next morning, threw up, ate a hamburger and said to myself, "Self, live and learn."
I spent the rest of the two weeks in a state of alcoholism and pure bliss... but this time with my legs closed.

Through this past year I've hade a series of unfortunate events (Lemony Snicket LOL) and may not have learned that much. Until now, nothing really compared to that one night..... but then.... June 24, 2012, happened. I wish I could capitalize numbers. (TWO THOUSAND TWELVE.)


Yesterday, not realizing at all what special anniversary it was for me, we had a lil party at a friends house. I got a tad bit smashed and found myself entangled in a mess of sheets, man candy and condoms. But you'll never guess what this mothafuckas name was! BILLY**!!! But a different Billy.. like wtf?! 
I didn't realize this really really fucking weird coincidence until like two minutes ago. I frickfracked someone named Billy on June 24, 2011 and 2012! DUDE HOW EPICLY WHORIBLE IS THAT!! NEVER NAME YOUR KID BILLY**! AND IF YOU DO APPARENTLY YOU SHOULD HIDE HIM FROM ME!!


*Changed name because of own personal embarrassment not for protecting the privacy of said boy.
**This dudes name is the same as the first dude, it just isn't Billy. Confused? Then you're a dumbass.


Fuck Friday the thirteenth, watch out for the 24th of June
You've been warned, 
DK

PS: I would like to take this time to tell you guys that I am not actually a whore, just on June 24th, and with people named Billy. **