List: Round 2

Everyone thinks that I'm just some dumb valley girl because of the way I talk, but thats not true at all. I have deep thoughts and meaningful conversations with people. Bitches be h8ing on me and my goodiegoods.


Assuming that there is a second life after death, and then assuming that this is only my frist life, there are ten people that I would want to come back as for round two. (If I can't be any of these ten people than I don't want to come back.) I assume id be really intelligent because i would have knowledge of everything I fucked up on during my first rodeo. I would probably be so much cooler. Maybe I wouldn't even have all this knowledge, and I'd just come back as a ficus or something. This is interesting. Wait, wtf I don't even believe in reincarnation  so I guess none of this even matters so why am I still typing about it.


Anyways... back to the list that no longer matters. because we only live one life. YOLO.


1. My dog- because his life fucking rocks, holy shit. Except when we don't let him outside and he needs to piss, that would suck. I always imagine him saying in his mind, "Fucking lazy asses, can't pause their goddamn show to walk two steps over here and let me out. HA little do they know that I already peed under their beds and ate my own throw up. MUAHAH" ...Right?
2. Santa Clause- except I would be a healthy one. All those cookies at every house, no wonder he doesn't exist anymore (*spoiler alert*). Diabetes is real motherfucker!
3. Whoever created Chuck E. Cheese so I can junk punch them for making him so scary looking. Or was I the only baby scared as fack from that oversized rodent?
4. Jesus 2.0- turn some water into wine for all my friends. I'd be the bees knees.
5. Ice T- Because his role in Law and Order: SVU is doppppeeee. And his wife has some huge ass tits (no homo). Or I'd be down to be Mariska Hargitay. She's like a fine wine, just getting smoother with age.
6. Steve Jobs- hahaha jk, I just said that because my roommate will like me more for it (not that he will read this because he doesn't support anything I do, asshole).
7. Elle Woods- yes, I want to come back as a fictional bleach blond cheerleader gone lawyer and be all badass and school people in the court room. "HA you weren't expecting that Chutney, were you?"
8. As a pilgrim so that I can not give all the Native American's blankets infested in small pox. And then there would be more sexy Jacob Black's in the world. HOLLER
9. Hitler- just to clarify, Hitler really chaps my ass, and he sucks. but if I was born as Adolf Hitler, I'd be a really nice, genuine guy. For instance, one that loves Jews instead of killing them. Mainly I just want to have the actual name "Hitler" without people automatically hating me because that bastard ruined the name for all of us. THANKS A LOT HITLER.
10. Mark Zuckerberg- he's a genius, except this time around I wouldn't have Eduardo Savarin help me out because homeboy straight pissed all over his ideas. (except he's super hot in the new Spiderman moov). 




Keep smiling, keep shinning, knowing you can always count on me... for sure.. that's what friends are for.
Peace, love, and AIDS (I believe in the oxford comma),
DK