Jessica Simpson's Best Decisions

HAY!

Continuing the series of Bad Celebrities Best Decisions we have (drum roll, please), JESSICA SIMPSON! Once the hottest blonde in the biz. Now the prenatal mom-idol of all desperate pregnant women in America. Regardless, she's funny in interviews and we like her songs because they are so fun to impersonate and remind us how at one point, she was actually a good singer with some black ass pipes.

1. The Simpson (including Ashlee) Family Christmas everything.

2. Dukes of Hazzard

3. The Newlywed Show

4. Her facial expressions

5. Following that... The Nick and Jessica Variety Hour

6. "I Think I'm In Love"

7. Jessica Simpson Shoes

8. "These Boots Are Made For Walking."

9. The "Loose" Curl

(She invented it and we all tried to get the look for every school dance in High School. It never, ever looked like this. Maybe because we were ugly).

10. This GQ Cover

WALL OF SHAME MOMENT

Dating that toolbox, John Mayer. Sure, he's a guitar genius, but at the end of the day he kisses and tells and thats not chill! For someone who can pull off brown or blonde hair, you think she'd really consider that before going public with that APPARENTLY sex filled relationship. John Mayer called her a "Sexual Napalm." Which is awesome if you're Jessica Simpson, but only for like 4 seconds? Then you realize your deepest darkest sexy secrets are out for the "world to see" (half a quote twisteroo of John Mayers Waiting On The World To Change). Fuck you, John Mayer.

One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you,

-DK