Today Sucked

Sup chickens!
I'm 100% the type of person who believes that if something shitty goes wrong in the morning than the rest of your day will be a shit show. Like if your alarm doesn't go off in time for you to wash your hair before class...so then you get there and you smell bad and today happens to be the day the hot guy with the curled up perfectly waxed mustache happens to sit right next to you... and then you realize that you also forgot to eat breakfast so half way through the class your stomach starts erupting into thunderous noises that sound like you're sharting your pants every two minutes... Well this happens to me at least once a month.

This was my today:
Woke up early around 7, and decided to hit the gym. Everything's going well until I get off the bike I'm on and my shoe lace decides to not get off. It gets caught around the pedal and I didn't happen to notice until I was doing the downward facing dog next to the bike I was just on. I'm laying there thinking "why me" when a nice older man comes over and politely unhooks my shoe lace and helps me to my feet.
Alright, that's fine, not gunna let this little fall ruin my day.
I walk over to the yoga mats when I feel something dripping down my leg... It's my blood. I guess I cut my knee open during my fall.
"You're fine Discount, don't worry, just keep swimming" is what I told myself. You look like a badass when you bleed and dont notice. So I continue to do my little exercises when all of a sudden this roided out bro-face walks past me and says "Sup Texas ranger." I giggle awkwardly and then realize my shirt says Texas ranger on it (obviously) and then I start to awkwardly giggle even more because I didn't know what to say.
After my work out I walk back to my car to find a love letter written on a receipt from Vitamin World on my windshield.
It reads: "Hey Texas ranger, I just met you and this is crazy. But here's my number so call my maybe. (714) 555-5555* <3nick"
 I shit you not... Nicholas tried to pick up a girl at the gym by quoting a fucking Carly Rae Jepson song (though it is catchy as fuck). Not to mention the fact that he knew what car was mine. WHAT THE LITERAL FUCK!!! He's a stalker right.

Okay anyways... So it's like 8something now and I'm thinking life couldn't get any worse. Oh but was I wrong.
I managed to stub my left big toe getting into the shower (this is why I don't shower) fall running down the stairs (alright, my fault for running) burnt my bagel thin (alright, my fault again for eating a bagel thin) forgot to do an assignment that was due today (my fault, I should have a planner) and Starbucks gave me hot tea instead of cold tea (Their fault entirely).


Now time to drink my sorrows away and go all hard in the paint.
-DK_daily


*Obviously can't write his real number because you creeps might try to steal my man.