List: Why Summer Sucks

Now that schools in sesh (not that I've actually gone to class yet) we don't get to see each other as often as we would like. But thank God for Snapchat, Facetime and all those other apps designed specifically for phone sex. This way we still get to see each other! How romantical!

Anyways... earlier today we started going off on a rant about why we hate summer and why it was the worst thing ever created/how the holocaust isn't real.
Wait let me re-word this, we love the weather of summer. We love sweating out everything we stand for. But we HATE the actual three-month summer vacation time period. It needs to get raped, killed and buried.

Reasons why summer vacation sucks dick:
1. Its more expensive. Fact: Everything you do costs more money. No cafeterias, no nothing. You're on your own now and that means mooch off everyone else carefully and casually until your mom feels bad enough to give you some cash.
2. Everyone breaks up. Fact: Summer lovin had me a blast! Summer lovin isnt real! If it wasn't you, it was your friends. Friends losing friends, friends losing boyfriends. Summer stands for "sure ur majorly motherfucked endlessly right?" (I could've done better than that but at least now you understand).
3. Traffic sucks. Fact: Leave three hours early, you'll still be late. I cant tie in a joke here.
4. You peel. Fact: Right when your tan is chilling tough, you take ONE shower and you shed like a fuckin amphibian. Bye tan. Completely defeats our motto: If you cant tone it, tan it.
5. You work more. Fact: Your mom makes you.
6. You dont get to see friends that live far away. Fact: Sorry, this just got serious. But its true. That roommate you stole underwear from took away her supply, and now you're going through withdrawals. Sup so lonesome I could die. (See video on the right. Try not to get pissed about her cutting her hair like Ellen's illegitimate love child while you watch. GOOD FUCKING LUCK).
7. You become the laziest piece of shit thats ever lived. Fact: Stoners originate in the summer time. Stoners also dont get jobs. See #5.
8. You have to register. Fact: Every asian beat you to it, might as well drop out.
9. Summer sucks because you think it's gonna be great. Fact: Somehow you work towards summer, and once it gets here, its a dud. Every. Time. We do this for every major holiday or break. There are gr8 moments, but it just isn't what you had played over and over in your small (in my case huge) little head. Summer 09' is still held in infamy, even though I dont remember why. But Summer 12' could not have ended fast enough. On to the next one. Better luck next time. Someone throw me a beer.
10. Sorry if we sound bitter. Let it slide just this once?

Go Grease Lightnin,
DKush