List: Things That Should've Never Existed

Sometimes I just don't know what to fucking write for an intro... like right now. Not that I ever know, I just normally start off rambling about whatever was currently running through my mind (right now Eggo waffles) or with a little short story that might relate but probably doesn't relate.

This is a list of shit that should have never existed and I wish could just like be swiped off the earth in no particular order:

1. Anchor Blue- 1. Your name sucks. Youre not Yoda. Its Blue Anchor. 2. Not everything looks better when you screen print it with tin foil. 3. This store should never have existed and it is the reason the world looks the way it looks (Yeah, were looking at you over there, Wet Seal).

2. TOMs- Hey, I'm all about the cause but like come on you little hipster slash sorority fucks. We all know YOU didn't make a conscious decision to purchase these shoes because you knew that lil munchkins in Africa would receive a free pair. You bought them because you wanted to look cool. But jokes on you since ya dont. 

3. Snakes- thanks Eve... asshole. 

4. KFC- for obvious chicken raping reasons. 

5. Reefs- the toe-showing man sandal from hell. "Mandals" doesnt even begin to cover it. Or un-cover it. AND THEY FUCKING FLOAT. God damnit.

Dont look for too long, or your face will fry off.

6. Furbies- aka demon toys- slash they are re-making them.. I just looked it up. Their slogan= "A mind of its own." 

7. Menstrual cycles- bloody hell. 

8. Video/computer games- they make boys ignore girls. ONLY EXCEPTION: The Sims. That can stay because I love making ex- boyfriends and doing all the cheat codes to make them gay and have alien babies. That kind of information stays between us...

9. Droids- Without getting awkwardly too serious, Androids/Droids suck, because they do. They're slow and fugly, and their robot mascot sucks. Exception: The ringtone those phones come with that goes "drrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrroid" is just peachy with me. I want one that goes "iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiphone."

10. Kangaroos- I have my reasons.

Besides these ten things, everything else in the world rocks. Except for obvious things like war, cancer, Del Taco, sharks and demons. 

-DK