List: Self Awareness

One time we were having a conversation in the little hang out area at one of our colleges and we were sitting by the fire. There was a foot of space between us....that's 12 inches, just to remind you. So we're pretty effing close. Out of nowhere, this little Asian narp walks up and sits in between us. And we were talking... and now we can't talk because Jackie chan is a centimeter away from my face. Leading to my point- My biggest pet peeve EVER is when people are not self aware. Honestly Asian bro... This is a Taco and Burrito conversation...nachos. Thank you.

Social Situation Criticals:
1. I really don't like when I'm standing in a spot talking, and maybe cussing every few words, and then a family walks up and the parents get mad at me. Homeslice, i was here first and/or make your kids wear earmuffs.
2. When I'm in line at the market and all I'm buying is a box of tampons and the dad in front of me has fifty items and they don't offer for me to go in front of them. IM BLEEDING!
3. When people wear their backpacks in class. You are stressing me out. Are you planning on going somewhere? Are you leaving early? Whats in the backpack? Can I see it?
4. When people plan drunkenness. For instance: Points at calendar and says "I'm gonna be drunk that day." With the exceptions of birthdays and anytime we do it.
5. When adults use inspirational quotes in daily jargon, while being for TREALZ. Example: "Never say Can't," or my personal favorite,"the hottest fire makes the hardest steel." Ew I hate that. Acceptable exceptions: "If you can't take the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen," "Be the ball!" "Go for gold" and "if you can dream it, you can do it!"
6. When the people at booths in shopping malls ask you to try their mediocre israeli skin products and attempt to give you the "sweetest deal ever." Never make eye contact.
7. When people request to be your friend on Facebook before you've met. So awkward when you actually meet them and neither of you can bring it up.
8. When you can't tell if someone's fat or pregnant. Gold.
9. That guy at parties that plays acoustic guitar the whole god damn time. Doesn't matter who they are or where they're from, guaranteed, they'll play variations of "Party in the USA" at least twice.
10. When people barf on you on airplanes.

We love people. The world is your oyster, everyone. Just please don't sit on me while I'm trying to hold an intimate conversation with my best friend.
Domo Origato Mr. Roboto,
-DK