Texts From Neighbor Krevin

If you are not familiar with the website Texts from Bennett or Texts from my Dog, you should familiarize yourself before proceeding. But heres a quick summary. Texts from Bennett is the textual documentation (screenshots) of one white male who is under the impression that he is of African American descent. He's a wangster. If you're picking up what I'm putting down. Here's an example: 

To fully understand the utter random-ity and fucking hilarious-ness of texts from neighbor Krevin, you have to know the full story.

Two days ago, my boyfriend backed into our neighbor across the streets front headlight. Like the fucking genius that he is. Shit happens. Unfortunately for him, a punk ass dog-walker witnessed the fatal crash and ruled out the possibility of a hit and run. Even though theyd been living across from each other for a month, we had never met the owner of this headlight... until now. They exchanged their information as online driving school instructed and everything seemed kosher after that. Minus the fact that a headlight costs a solid 500 bucks to replace. Headlights dont serve any vital purpose in the driving experience anyway. Its fine. It quickly became apparent that Kevin was desperate for friends. In Discount-ese: Krevin was a fucking loner. 

Usually, numbers are only exchanged when there is a prior friendship established, or solely to give information about the car repairs. But heres where shit gets weird.

That night, Krevin entertained the shit out of me. This is real life. Based on a true story.

As generous as extending his hot-boxing offer was, I had to pass. Mind you, that text "Barely 20 man. Im a youngblood." was sent prolly 843 times. I am SO excited that I finally have someone sending me hilarious shit that I can turn into a web series. Out of our way "Bennett" and "Dog," Krevin is in town (By the way. Krevin, is just Kevin with an R. Think of it as a combo of Andrew and Kevin). We will keep you posted on Krevin and our strictly textual relationship, and hopefully figure out a way to subtly tell neighbor Krevin to give up texting for the Lenten season. Keep it wangster.

Roll it up, light it up, smoke it up,

DKhronic taco.