I Set My Friends on Fire

Well another Labor day has come and gone again. Personally it's my favorite holiday. It's an excuse to drink for a solid three days with no shame or having to call in sick to work. I friken love it.
I took full advantage of this weekend and that guy in my bunk bed. My life was in drunken shambles up until Saturday night... when Fun. turned into something more along the lines of like Of Mice and Men. DUN DUN DUN.

We started Friday night after everyone was out of class. Everyone got hamstered at my house. We played gaucho ball for eons, and when we were out of beer we started playing chandeliers with shots of vodka (which lasted about three rounds), until we moved on to play Kings Cup with glasses of wine. We were desperate for alcohol to say the least.

It was a top night! After every drop of alcohol had been consumed we decided to take a mile long walk to and from Jack in the Box. I was so drunk that I actually tried to convince people that it was better than In n Out... and thats when they knew I needed to stop playing Edward 40hands and chill out.

Anyway, we walked back and knocked. The next morning we all woke up ready to play again.
We decided to darty ("day party" for all the kids who grew up in a pineapple under the sea) and tan at the beach. My two favorite things. Once night came around we lit up a nice illegal fire and started doing racist Indian dances around it. This is where my story begins...
My friend Stove (from the penis story) was standing a little bit to close to the fire when another one of my friends, named Macaroni (not his real name), decided to pour an entire bottle of lighter fluid into the fire. All I remember is seeing Stove literally stop, drop, and roll. This was not a drill. Everyone was laughing until Stove stood up and showed us the five layers of skin that had burnt off both of his shins. After two solid minutes of awkward silence Stove announced that he was going to walk back home and we all announced that this was super awkward.

All I have to say is that I'm super glad I'm not Macaroni. Literally. and not literally. Id totally rather be an Angel Hair.

P.S.- Don't light your friends on fire... super awkward.

Until next time,
DK