Boner Jam

Okay, hey.
So you know how we always say weird shit like "boner jam" or "boner kill." Well before I tell you an epic tale of tragedy and sex, I would like to take a moment to define what these actually mean.

Boner jam- good shit/tight butthole/legendary/awesome possum/tickles my pickle/etc...
Boner kill- bad shit/loose butthole/FML/fuck my ass/shit on my dick/etc...

Now that we are all on the same page get ready for a good laugh.
My friend... uh lets call her... EmoGrl24... was telling me earlier today in confidence (as she said that word I literally PAWLed in my head and started planning the intro to this blog post) about her latest sexual encounter with a boy named ShyGuy55. And lets just say... it gives a whole new meaning to the phrase "boner jam."
They started off the evening with a couple PBRs and a lil weird art school foreplay (way different then normal college foreplay... seriously, you have no idea the shit I've had to wear [ie: a fake dragon tail or fairy wings] or shit I've had to say [ie. "Please storm my dungeon with your sword"]). Well as things progressed it was game time..
WARNING: things are about to get graphic and if you guys are under 18 you should definitely make sure your parents aren't reading over you shoulder because we don't really want to get reported for like some weird shit.

Anyways... ShyGuy55 whips out his dick and tries to like get it in you know. And well it didn't. Instead it literally folds up accordion style (not possible but it's how I imagined it). Like he literally got a boner jam as if EmoGrl24's vagina is a fucking vault made out of bullet proof glass.

So now I'm trying to decide if I want to change the meaning of boner jam to a negative thing. But then what would be the new positive form? Hard boner? Nah, that's too realistic... but then again so is boner jam I guess...
Ew.
Have fun replaying this pornO in your head over and over again like I will be tonight.. and not because I want to.

-DKrunk