I partied way to fucking hard this weekend for my birthday and now I'm sick. There's nothing cool about it and I sound like Darth Vader. I just want to apologize now for anything I write on this post because I'm dirty looped on medicine.
This is a list of annoying shit that happens at the gym...not that I go.
1. Roided out guys. Dude you already won, go home!
2. Girls in Neon. I always think I see a really hot girl at the gym and than I realize she's just wearing neon.
3. Dudes on their phone and talking. Go home. you're a waste of space.
4. Unathletic personal trainers. You're not inspiring anyone JigglyBob. You remind me of the guy from "I love you, man," who screams "GIVE IT EVERYYYTHING YOU GOT!"
5. When you leave 24 and they have to say goodbye. I always try to say goodbye first and get the jump on em, bastards.
6. Guy who grunts really loud. When you aren't pushing weight like the roided out dudes it's probably not best to draw unnecessary attention to yourself.
7. Rich girl doing nothing. Curling 5 lb dumbells with her double E boobs and Louis V earbuds. Good for you for trying, Barbie.
8. Awkward smelly dude who asks for a spot. GROSS!
9. Guys who check themselves out after every set. Still look the same as when you came in. It's been 10 minutes.
10. Awkward naked people in the bathroom/shower. Minding my own biz walking into the bathroom and BAM! Saggy old Jew balls. Not that this has personally happened to me....
Well, thats that. Have fun getting your buff on and remember if you can't tone it, tan it.
-DK
No comments:
Post a Comment