List: The Undateables

Yes, we did steal The Undateables from The Incredibles. Thank you Pixar. After going through about 75+ things that make guys undateable, we've narrowed it down to the most important 25. Just think of this as a checklist of what NOT to do, for all you male tail out there. For the feems, just use this as your "How To: Avoid Douche" road map. God we love lists.

1. People who wear mandals. ie: "Man thongs." Even at the beach. We dont care. It's never okay. Dont do it. Can. Not. Stress. This. Enough.

2. People who dont go to school. Ya know?

3. Cargo shorts. No one has gotten a hand job in cargo shorts since 'Nam. And honestly, what are you even putting in those pockets?

4. Guys that gangster text. Unless you're Lil Wayne or Bone Thugs, which I assume you are not.

5. Backseat Drivers (suck).

6. Guys who dont like our friends. WE DONT LIKE YOUR FRIENDS EITHER!

7. Guys that say we dress weird. #sowhatifwedo? 

8. People who hate our laugh, even if it sounds like Tickle Me Elmo.

9. Guys with longer hair than us. Jealous.

10. Guys that look in the mirror more than we do / Take longer to get ready. Its annoying if you think you are more attractive than we think you are.

11. Guys that aren't funny? or fun? no shit?

12. Guys that are smartasses and/or dumbasses and/or divas

13. Guys that wear rhinestones or sparkles, or their belly button ring is rhinestoned...or sparkled. or just having a belly button ring. or more importantly, guys that wear Ed Hardy.

14. Guys without licenses. Theres nothing hot about public transportation.

15. Guys who pretend to rap. Or seriously rap. Actually. Seriously rapping is an even bigger issue.

16. Guys who match their pastel vans to their pastel shirts.

17. Guys who dont take pictures. 

18. Guys that wear lip gloss. Its not poppin.

19. Guys who tuck their jeans into their Uggs. Or wear Uggs.

20. Guys who are abusive. But mostly, guys that get hangry when they dont eat.

21. Poor sports.

22. Guys that cry when they lose at sporting events SLASH refer to their favorite major league team as "we." You dont play on the team. You didn't lose anything. You're fine.

23. Guys who are heffers.

24. Guys who suck.

25. Guys who wear stilettos.



Over and out,
Sale Smarts